Monthly Archives: November 2015

The Book Project, #23, You Can Be the Wife of a Happy Husband

Well, huh. Another book that I can’t give a review on because I haven’t read it. And I’ll put this one in the donate pile unread.

You Can Be the Wife of a Happy Husband *By discovering the key to Marital Success was written by Darien B. Cooper and published in 1974.

I have to say, I flipped through this book real quick. I chuckled at one illustration that depicted an old IBM tape recorder with the enormous tape reels as the recording station in our minds. And then went and asked LeRoy if he’s a happy husband. He laughed. (That’s a sign of happiness, right?)

I don’t know, Folks. I wonder if there was an all-out counter-assault on the women’s libbers back in the day. I think I’ll make it a point to have coffee with some of my friends who are part of my mother’s generation. I’d like to hear their take on the culture back in the early 70’s.

No rating.

And I wouldn’t recommend this book. One time, I was enthusiastically sharing some advice that I’d heard from an acquaintance with a friend of mine who is also a mentor. She listened and then said, “Oh Sharon, be careful. She isn’t healthy.” She wasn’t being judgmental or snobby. She saw something that, in my naivete, I didn’t see. Over time, I saw that other woman’s life crumble around her. And I learned to be more discerning about whose advice I listen to. I know that the author, Cooper, means well in this book. But it raises a lot of questions and red flags for me.

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The Book Project, #20, 21, & 22

I’m combining these three books by Charlie W. Shedd into one post:

Letters To Karen on keeping love in marriage (1965),

Letters To Philip on how to treat a woman (1968), and

How To Stay In Love (1981).

I haven’t read these… but I will. They’re fairly short reads, Letters to Karen has the most pages at 158. I flipped through them to see if maybe I had a bookmark in any of them — the telltale sign that I at least started it.

I found a business card in Letters to Philip that reads, “Immer klar sehen… mit dem Team fur den richtigen Durchblick,” which is the place we bought our eye wear when we lived in Spangdahlem. Then I found underlining and writing in the margins in the first part of the book. grrrr. But then… I read my husband’s notes… ohmygoodness… I won’t write them here, but I will tell you they are sweet…

Okay, so there’s this one part that my man underlined and put a star next to. Want to know what he thought was so important?

“When she offers various items for your improvement, I would train myself to make the first word of reply, ‘Thank you!’ Then when you are sure you won’t argue, sure you won’t pout, sure you won’t retaliate, you can add ‘I didn’t know I was doing that. You and I make a great team!'”

Smile. Ya, it sounds corny. But one of the things I love that LeRoy does, is that he tells me he appreciates that we both want to grow. Even if sometimes that means hearing a hard truth. Know what else? (And I believe other women think this about their husbands, too…) Humility is sexy on my man.

Anyway, I’m tabbing these unread and putting them back on my shelf.

No rating yet.

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The Book Project, #19, I Married You

Love this… I opened the front cover and found a yellow sticky note to me from my dad, dated 1994. So this is a book that he gave to us from his personal library.

Published in 1971, I Married You by Walter Trobisch is the author’s account of a marriage conference he taught in South Africa. Trobisch used the analogy of a triangle — or a tent — to describe love, wedlock, and sex. I appreciate how he thoroughly discusses that those three “forces” are at play before the marriage as well as throughout the marriage.

“God’s will is the interplay of forces. Therefore everything that favors it is in accord with the will of God. Everything that hinders it is not in accord with the will of God.

“This guide is applicable before marriage as well as during marriage. Before marriage you will have to ask yourself the question: ‘Will what we are going to do prepare us later on for the interplay of forces in our marriage, or will it block us and prevent the interplay?’ During marriage, you will have to ask yourself: ‘Will this or that action deepen the interplay of forces, or will it eventually disturb it?’

“The interplay of forces within the dynamic triangle is full of elasticity and creative freedom. In Genesis 2:24, God offers us an image which meets the personal need of every situation, every culture. For the will of God is valid not only for the Christian. It is valid for all mankind.”

Takeaway: There are going to be days when our marriage revels in the sweetness of love and romance. When we’re a team and the game of life is scoring in our favor. And there will be days when there’s misunderstandings, disappointments, and wounded egos. On those days, we’ll look at each other and say with quiet resolve, “I’m glad I married you.”

Something else that I appreciated is that Trobisch says that when a man and a woman leave their parents, cleave to one another in marriage and become one flesh, they are a whole, complete family. Children may come along later, and they are a blessing, but they don’t create a family. The family is created on the couple’s wedding day.

3 Stars. I do recommend it… with the little caveat that Trobisch uses excessive words, losing me at times with way too many descriptive details. (But I relate to that. smile.)