The Book Project, #19, I Married You

Love this… I opened the front cover and found a yellow sticky note to me from my dad, dated 1994. So this is a book that he gave to us from his personal library.

Published in 1971, I Married You by Walter Trobisch is the author’s account of a marriage conference he taught in South Africa. Trobisch used the analogy of a triangle — or a tent — to describe love, wedlock, and sex. I appreciate how he thoroughly discusses that those three “forces” are at play before the marriage as well as throughout the marriage.

“God’s will is the interplay of forces. Therefore everything that favors it is in accord with the will of God. Everything that hinders it is not in accord with the will of God.

“This guide is applicable before marriage as well as during marriage. Before marriage you will have to ask yourself the question: ‘Will what we are going to do prepare us later on for the interplay of forces in our marriage, or will it block us and prevent the interplay?’ During marriage, you will have to ask yourself: ‘Will this or that action deepen the interplay of forces, or will it eventually disturb it?’

“The interplay of forces within the dynamic triangle is full of elasticity and creative freedom. In Genesis 2:24, God offers us an image which meets the personal need of every situation, every culture. For the will of God is valid not only for the Christian. It is valid for all mankind.”

Takeaway: There are going to be days when our marriage revels in the sweetness of love and romance. When we’re a team and the game of life is scoring in our favor. And there will be days when there’s misunderstandings, disappointments, and wounded egos. On those days, we’ll look at each other and say with quiet resolve, “I’m glad I married you.”

Something else that I appreciated is that Trobisch says that when a man and a woman leave their parents, cleave to one another in marriage and become one flesh, they are a whole, complete family. Children may come along later, and they are a blessing, but they don’t create a family. The family is created on the couple’s wedding day.

3 Stars. I do recommend it… with the little caveat that Trobisch uses excessive words, losing me at times with way too many descriptive details. (But I relate to that. smile.)

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